Kiss the Blood Off My Hands Read online

  She cut right in on me. 'Don't trouble!' she said. 'You seem to imagine that as long as you go on using this ridiculous bullying language, I shall be forced to do exactly what you tell me. Now look at it this way. You came burst-

  ing in here last night, scared out of your wits. No, don't interrupt—people don't run away and hide in strange people's rooms unless they are scared, do they? You came bursting in here, and for some reason which I cannot for the life of me explain, I allowed you to stay. I don't know why I did it, but I suppose everyone does something completely extraordinary once in a while. Anyway, here you still are. And here, apparently, you hope to stay for a few more hours. Well, just let me point something out to you, in case it hasn't occurred to you. I am due at work very soon. If I don't turn up, they will think I am ill and one of my friends will come running round in the lunch hour on an errand of mercy. Then you will have two people to deal with. Also, if you keep me here against my will, I can scream any moment I choose to, and soon have someone rushing in to help.'

  She paused to take a gulp of coffee, but before I could get started she went on quickly again.

  'The alternative is for me to go out, and you to stay here. Would I trust you, I wonder? Yes, I think I would. For one thing, if you had come here to steal, you would have done it by now. And for another thing, I think it would be rather amusing. Do you know why it would be amusing? Because it would really be you who was having to trust me. All day long you would be saying to yourself, "I wonder if she has told anyone yet. Are the police on their way yet ?" I think that would be very amusing, don't you? Of course, if you prefer to go out now, you can. Or if you want to hear how loud I can scream, all you have to do is try to keep me in here!'

  She had rattled it all off at full speed, and now she stopped, rather out of breath.

  I went on gaping at her for a minute. Her nerve looked like being a nuisance. I ought to have gagged her before she woke up. Now it would mean a scrap.

  'You've got a lot of talk, 5 I said, 'but where do you think it gets you ? I don't ask for favours, kid. I take them.'

  She didn't answer. She just looked. I couldn't remember ever seeing a girl so sure of herself.

  'Are you telling me, kid, that if I let you out of this room you're going to squawk?'

  She shrugged her shoulders.

  'I didn't say so,' she said. And then there was that funny kind of look again, and she held out the milk bottle.

  'Have some more . . . milk?' she asked.

  I looked at the milk bottle, and heard the clink of it on the doorstep, and heard the footsteps that had gone straight on along the street.

  'Okay!' I said.

  She got up and stood by the washbasin near the window, and pointed to the far wall.

  'Go and admire the wall paper,' she said.

  I went over and sat on the bed facing the wall. Something whistled over my head, and yesterday's newspaper dropped at my feet. I picked it up and started to look at it.

  She was tidying up, getting ready for the day. I could hear the running of water, and then after a bit—I think she hesitated a bit—I could hear the rustle of clothes coming off.

  'Don't look round,' she said.

  'Don't worry,' I told her.

  That was easy enough for me. That kind of thing never did anything to me. There was a place and a time for that

  with me, and there was a kind of woman to do it with, and that kind of woman wasn't her.

  I turned the paper over. They were looking for a fellow who had cut up a body in bits. They were looking for a girl who had stuck a knife into her sweetheart. They were looking for a fellow who . . .

  It seemed to be getting a bit personal. The paper was full of accounts of the police looking for somebody who had finished with somebody else. Papers always were, but you didn't notice it much as long as you didn't happen to know the people. I wondered what today's would have to say.

  'Hey, kid!' I said over my shoulder.

  'M-m-m ?'

  'Will you do something for me ?'

  6 I thought you decided that,' she said.

  'Ease up,' I said. 'Will you get me the papers when you are out?'

  'You are getting easy! Which one do you want?'

  'All of them,' I said.

  She laughed. 'Want to try and decide which one to believe ?'

  'I'm serious,' I said. 'Will you bring them all back with you?'

  'Anything to oblige,' she said. 'You can stop admiring the wall paper now.'

  I turned round. She had changed her clothes, and was wearing quite a different get-up now, but she still had the same tidy neatness. Her fair hair, spruced up for the day, caught the light from the window, glinting as she moved. Her face still had the curious tilt which made her look all the time as if she was just going to smile. I couldn't remember when I had seen a girl who looked less of a nuisance.

  I pulled out a bundle of notes and tossed a pound on the bed.

  'Take the papers out of that, 5 I said. 'And get me some cigarettes, will you?'

  Her eyes followed the roll back into my pocket, and then went down to the pound note. She looked surprised, but she didn't say anything.

  'What time are you going to be back ?' I asked.

  'About seven, if I'm lucky.'

  'You don't come back midday?'

  She shook her head. 'That's when someone else does my cooking for a change,' she said. She pulled on her hat, picked up her handbag and moved towards the door.

  'Wait a minute! 5 I said. 'Have you got any cigarettes you can leave behind?'

  She opened her bag, pulled out a half-used packet, and tossed it on to the bed. She went to move towards the door again.

  'Wait a minute!' I said, and took hold of her wrist, but not to hurt it. I looked at her straight.

  'Is this ago? 5 I asked her.

  She looked at me for a minute, and then she said, 'I don't think I would do it that way, anyhow. I shouldn't be here to see the fun.'

  'Why are you doing this?' I asked her.

  She hesitated, and then she suddenly turned and pulled the door open.

  'Don't ask impossible questions!' she said, and went out and slammed the door behind her.

  I went over to the window and looked out. She was walking quickly up the street. There were several other peo-

  pie about, but she didn't speak to anybody. I wondered if the snoopers were still hanging round. There was no sign of anyone watching, but if that bouncer was as cold as he had looked, they wouldn't be giving the chase up yet. It was just as well to wait indoors for a bit longer.

  The kid was nearly at the end of the street. I watched her go round the corner, and then turned away from the window. I took out a penny and spun it up and it came down tails on the carpet, but I hadn't called. There was something about her. I picked up a magazine and settled down to wait.

  It was dark when she came back. As she opened the door, I got behind it and bunched up my hand ready to fix anyone who came in with her. But she came in alone and I felt a bit silly. She shut the door and plonked a bundle of newspapers on the bed. Then she drew a couple of packets of cigarettes from out of her handbag.

  'Still here?' she asked.

  'Still here!' I said, and started to go through the papers.

  It was there all right. His name was Martin, and there hadn't been any mistake about him. There never is when they look like that.

  Three of the papers had got it on the front page, and they had painted it up good and hard. I read the accounts through carefully.

  I was a dago. I was a sailor. I was an all-in wrestler. I was almost every damned thing, and the fight had been the hell of a fight, and several fellows had grabbed me and tried to hold me back. The hell they had! The hell they hadn't touched me! Those gaping suckers wouldn't have tried to hold me back and still be talking big.

  I turned round to the kid. 'Did you see about this showdown?' I said offhand.

  'What show-down?' she asked.

  'This scrap wh
ere the dago slogged the barman.'

  'Oh, yes,' she said.

  'And this one where the dago was a sailor?'

  'What do you mean?'

  I grinned. 'Perhaps the one you saw was the one where the sailor was an all-in wrestler?'

  She put down the plates she had in her hand and came over and faced me.

  'Go on,' she said quietly.

  'Go on? But you said you'd read it,' I said. 'I was just gossiping about the day's news.'

  She gave me a strange, searching look.

  'In half a dozen papers, 3 she said slowly, 'there's more news than one fight in a pub. How long does it take to get from there to here?'

  I tightened up. 'I don't know what you're talking about!' I said.

  She went on looking hard at me, standing absolutely still. I cursed myself inside. But trying to fool her wouldn't be like fooling any ordinary person.

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  'So-long!' I said.

  'Going?'

  I nodded.

  'It's foggy outside,' she said.

  'Foggy suits me fine!' I answered.

  'Here's your change.' She held out a ten-shilling note and some coins. I was just going to tell her to keep it, but I changed my mind. She wasn't a money-box girl. I took it

  and put it in my pocket, and moved over towards the door.

  'Thanks for everything,' I said. 'You're a good kid.' She didn't answer. I took a long look at her, and then I went out into the passage and closed the door quietly behind me. I opened the front door and went out into the street, and walked off quickly into what was quite a fog.

  CHAPTER TWO

  It was good to be on the move again. After a whole day of not doing anything I always felt like a dried-up fig, so I walked along at a good pace, swinging my arms and feeling like something that had just escaped from somewhere.

  The fog was patchy, very thick in places. I walked so fast that several times I cannoned into people. One mug, groping round a corner, put himself right square in the way, and the biff sent him sprawling in the gutter. I heard him shouting after me, but I was feeling so good with being moving again that I couldn't be bothered to stop and knock silence into him. I walked on and on, not caring where, just enjoying stretching myself.

  There didn't seem much to worry about. Those papers the kid had brought home with her had changed the look of things a lot. In the general excitement, nobody could have taken a very careful look at me. Every paper had a different description. Even their accounts of what had hap-

  pened didn't tally. Some of them talked about it as if it had been a general scrap, with everybody in the pub having a go. There certainly wasn't a single description that would help anybody to recognise me. As long as they didn't know who they were looking for, they could go on looking as long as they liked without it bothering me.

  The fog was clearing a bit, but it was going to be a stinking night. I felt like sleeping out, but the weather didn't fit. I walked on, crossing a batch of evening-dress streets, and came to a big, quiet square where every building seemed to be a hotel. They were not the kind that want to see your luggage, but the ones that grab you with open arms if you've got the six-and-sixpence.

  I turned into one of them.

  T want a room for tonight,' I told the woman.

  Tor one, sir?'

  'That's all,' I said.

  'Any luggage?'

  'No.'

  'That will be five shillings without breakfast,' she said. 'Do you mind paying in advance?'

  I gave her the money.

  T will show you the room,' she said.

  'Don't bother,' I said, 'just tell me the number.' She told me seventeen.

  'Back later,' I said. The gloom of the place was more than you could stand for eating in.

  I went out into the street again to look for a feed. Just off the square there was a restaurant that looked quite cosy. It was rather crowded and I couldn't see an empty table, so I sat down at a table where there were four seats but only two of them taken. The two men at the table had

  finished their meal and were sitting smoking cigarettes over their empty coffee cups.

  I had finished a plate of soup and was just starting the meat when one of them said something that made me sit up with a jolt. He was talking about me. He was talking about the slogging that I had given the bouncer in the pub.

  'I wonder if they've caught that bullying lout who did it?' one of them said.

  Bullying lout! I put down my knife and fork. My hands bunched up and tightened, and my teeth came together with a snap. But I stopped myself in time. They might think I had an interest in the thing if I did that. Some people are always ready to put things together too quickly.

  'You know the pub, don't you ?' said one of the men. Tt was the one just round the corner.'

  I nearly choked on my beef. Like a fool I had gone round in a circle and come back to the one spot in this town that was likely to be unhealthy.

  Without waiting to finish the meal, I got up from the table, paid the bill and left the restaurant quickly. Out in the street I paused for a moment, wondering round which corner the pub was. As I stood there, suddenly the fog lifted, and from round the first corner to the right came the leisurely form of a copper. Turning my back, I walked away as quickly as I could without looking to be in a hurry.

  When I got up in the morning and looked in the mirror, it was a ragged sight. I hadn't shaved for a couple of days. And what with getting a bit wet, and being slept in the night before, my suit was looking like hell.

  I pressed the bell in the bedroom, and when the girl came up I told her to bring me breakfast in the room. While she

  was fetching it, I found a bathroom and had a wash down, but having no razor I had to leave the stubble on.

  As soon as I had eaten the breakfast, I went downstairs and paid the extra for the food and left the hotel. Turning in the direction opposite from the restaurant where I had been the evening before, I walked briskly for a mile or more, feeling that one of the first things to do was to get clear of that district. The next thing to do was to get a spruce up, so I dropped into a barber's shop and had a shave.

  After I had paid for that, I counted my money and found that I had just over seven pounds. That was not much of a reserve, and it would need building up pretty quickly. The town was a stranger to me, and so far I hadn't had time to find out where the money hung around. It seemed to be time for taxi-riding, which was always good for several quid a night in any decent, respectable town. But my suit was looking like hell, and if you are going to do taxi-riding you've got to look the part.

  I decided to invest what money I had in getting myself a bit of flash. So I walked along until I came to a shop that sold clothes. I went in and told them I wanted a suit. The assistant smirked.

  'You wish to be measured for a suit, sir?' he asked.

  'No,' I said, T want it now. I want a suit, a shirt, a tie and a hat, and I want them for seven quid.'

  He brought out three suits to show me, and I chose one and tried it on. It didn't look bad. I looked at myself in a glass and it looked pretty good.

  Til have this,' I told him.

  'Shall I send it?' he asked.

  'No,' I said. 'Where's the shirt and tie?'

  He produced some shirts. I took off the one I was wearing, screwed it up and chucked it on the counter, and put on one of the new ones. Then I fixed a tie, put the new suit on again, and emptied the pockets of my old one.

  'How much?' I asked.

  'The suit is six guineas and the shirt ten-and-six and the tie two-and-six, that is six pounds nineteen.'

  'I'll do without the hat,' I said, and handed him my seven pounds.

  'Are you wearing that now, sir?' he asked.

  'Use your eyes,' I told him.

  'Where shall I send your other suit ?'

  'Anywhere you like,' I said, and came out into the street.

  I was all set up now, and looking pretty good. All I needed now
was a guide-map of the town and a bit of darkness. I bought the map, and then found a restaurant and had a good lunch. This left me with only a few coppers, but I was all set now.

  I walked off and found a park, and sat down on a seat to study the guide-map and wait for it to get dark. Taxi-riding was a good way of getting started in a new town, but I had always believed in playing it on a sound geography basis. If you don't do that, there's a risk of doubling back on your own tracks by mistake, and getting off just where the cops are on the lookout. So I fixed the layout of the main streets carefully in my mind, and then sat and watched the nursemaids pushing their prams around and the old ladies feeding the pigeons, and waited for the light to go.

  As soon as it was dusk I moved off to look for the flash streets. By the time I reached them it was properly dark, and I strolled along casually until I came to a taxi-rank.

  About twenty yards ahead of the front taxi I ducked in a doorway to wait. After a few minutes a man with a girl came along and hailed the front cab. Then a man came along alone and took the next one, but I let him go because he looked too tough to start on. You get warmed up to this kind of thing, but you want to start on something easy.

  Soon enough a fellow who said mug all over him came along and waggled his umbrella. He told the driver where he wanted to go, and got in and shut the door, and the cabby started up his engine.

  Just as it was about to move off, I was alongside the cab, opening the door and grinning like a long-lost friend.

  'Hullo, old man! Where have you been hiding yourself?' I asked him cheerfully. The mug gaped.

  Tm afraid . . .' he started in an awkward tone, but I covered it up with 'Right you are, carry on, cabby!' and slammed the door behind me. The cabby drove off without troubling to look round twice. I was looking the part all right.

  'You have made a mistake,' the mug was starting, but I shut him up.

  'Listen!' I said. 'Did you ever go to the pictures and see one of those nasty films where the sucker slumps out of a taxicab like a lump of dung? That's what happens to you any minute now if you don't keep quiet. Just make a sound, or rap on the window, or do any damn thing, and you're finished. This is just to show you!'