Kiss the Blood Off My Hands

  TO B.B.

  Kiss Tke Blood Off My Han
  CHAPTER ONE

  By the time I've been blotting up beer for a couple of hours, any fellow who starts anything with me is crazy. Although maybe I hit him a bit harder than I meant, or maybe he hit his head as he went over, or something, but he looked like a chap who would want plenty of jab, and that isn't the way he looks as he's on the floor. He looks pretty still. He looks damned still. Come to think of it he looks too damned still.

  The whole pub had dried up like a scab. The place was so quiet you could have heard a cat mess.

  I rubbed my knuckles. Maybe I had hit him harder than I meant.

  Nobody did anything. Doing anything was up to the bouncer. But the bouncer was on the floor, and didn't look as if he would be doing anything for quite a time.

  'You certainly caught him one, mister,' someone said at last.

  I swung round fiercely, but the sucker shrunk away.

  'What the hell's the good of hitting 'em if you don't hit 'em?' I asked.

  Nobody said anything. Everybody stood looking at the bouncer on the floor. A trickle of blood had started coming from his mouth as he went down, but it had given up coming now. He'd got the look all right. I prodded him with my foot. He'd got the look all right. He'd got the look you don't usually have unless you've got a hole through you.

  The beer started to go out of me.

  'He ain't moving much,' somebody said.

  I could hear my own breath in the silence. The darts game had stopped. People had backed away, and a ragged circle had formed itself round us. A fellow came out of the crowd and got down on his knees, put his hand inside the bouncer's coat and held it there. He got up looking scared and awkward.

  'What's he like?' somebody asked.

  'He's not breathing,' said the feeler.

  There was quiet for a minute, and then somebody whispered, 'He's dead!'

  Nobody did anything.

  Then somebody else said, 'He's dead!'

  This time they said it a bit louder, and then someone who was three parts sozzled said it again, a hell of a lot louder, with a sort of scream to wrap it up.

  'You killed him, mister,' said somebody.

  As I turned round on him to shut his mouth, somebody from the other side of the room said 'Fetch the police!' I stopped just an inch from the first fellow's face. This was a sucker's place to start another scrap. The bouncer was beginning to look lousy.

  I turned for the door. It was ten yards away from me, the other end of the bar, with two fellows right in the way. But the place was hot, and there was no more time for talking. The beer was right out of my head now. I measured the distance, and went for the door with a rush, knocking the two mugs over without waiting for them to move. I pulled the door open and dived through it into the street.

  The pub was on a corner, and the door I came out of was in a side street. The main road was a few yards to the

  left. I turned right, heading as fast as I could up the side street away from the main road.

  I'd have said it would have taken those suckers in the pub ten minutes to make up their minds to do anything, but I couldn't have noticed some of them. As I came to the next corner there was a shout behind me, and the clatter of people running.

  The beer was getting out of me now. I knew I could throw them off without much trouble, but I had turned into a long street that had no turnings out of it until you got right to the other end. Before I was halfway up it, a knot of people were round the corner trailing me. I was gaining fast, with a fifty-yard lead, but a copper strolling along on his beat took up the chase a bare twenty-five yards behind. Most of the slobs can't run, but this one could. I got to the end of the street and ducked to the left. It was beginning to warm up now. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see a chap on a bicycle shooting up to head me off. I ran off the pavement into the roadway, and as his front wheel drew level with me, I suddenly stopped dead and brought my shoulder thud into the side of his body. He spun across the road, and the crash of metal followed me as I started running again.

  Turning another corner, I found myself in a main road. A bus was just drawing away from its stopping place, and I jumped on it as it gathered speed. But I hadn't got a good enough lead. The conductor was coming down the steps as I landed on it, and he saw the hounds just coming round the corner. He gave me one look and put up his hand for the bell.

  I gave him one in the belly, and jumped off into the gutter as the bus checked speed. I had gained a bit; there

  was nearly a hundred yards now between me and the panting crowd behind.

  I ducked down a side street and got going in earnest, but the beer was in my bladder now. Just two minutes' pause and I could have run them all off their feet, but with the beer where it was, it wasn't any fun.

  I put on a spurt and went round a couple of quick corners to try and lose them, but I was out of luck. The beer was getting pretty awkward now. I had got to stop, but I couldn't. I clenched my fists and tightened myself a bit. I ran like a madman for two or three more streets, and just as the beer was ready to burst me I rounded a corner and saw a girl going into a door. I shot up the four or five steps and reached the door just before she shut it. Pushing it open again, I slid through and slammed it behind the two of us.

  The girl still had her keys in her hand. She took one quick, bewildered look at me, and made up her mind. Darting to a door on the right of the hall, she put a key in the lock, pushed the door open, snatched the key out again, and went to shut the door in my face. But I was too quick for her. I pushed her into the room and closed the door quietly behind us.

  'Shut up and keep quiet,' I said.

  She did not make a sound. She gaped at me, too surprised to say anything. I could see her clearly, because the curtains were not drawn and the street lamp was shining right into the room.

  'Don't put the light on,' I told her. 'And keep quiet or I'll smash you up.'

  She stood there, perfectly still, as the noise in the street came closer. The crowd had got to the corner now, and

  they were running around in circles, shouting and blaming each other.

  They must have guessed I had ducked,in somewhere. There was a bit of talking, and then I could hear them starting to hammer on the doors. Soon they were hammering on the door that I had come through. I got hold of the girl's wrist and turned it a bit, and brought my other fist close to her face.

  'Better keep quiet,' I whispered.

  There were footsteps on the stairs, and then a shuffling in the hall, and I heard the front door being opened.

  'Anyone just come in here ?' a voice panted.

  'Who do you want to see?' The woman who had come downstairs sounded the kind of person who spent her life keeping people out of places.

  'We're looking for a man who just disappeared round this corner. He was trying to escape. Must have come into one of these houses.'

  The woman's voice became more haughty than ever.

  'Are you suggesting that this house is run for the benefit of people who are trying to escape ? Get along with you! Let me tell you that some people in this world are respectable, even if some others are not. Please get off my doorstep at once!'

  'No offence, lady—but we've got to find this chap. Didn't anyone just come in here?'

  'Certainly not! The idea! How dare you suggest that I am accommodating your . . . er . . . your associates!'

  The front door shut with a bang, and with a final outraged 'Huh!' the woman shuffled back up the stairs.

  The girl was still standing quiet. By the light from the street lamp I looked round the room. It was a sort of

  everything rolled into one. There was a bed, and an armchai
r, and a gas ring, and a washbasin.

  I let go her wrist.

  'Stand facing that corner,' I told her, pointing to the corner on the left of the fireplace.

  That bag upstairs would be all ears now. I didn't dare go along the passage looking for what I wanted, so I went over to the washbasin and did it there, humming softly to try and cover up. When I had finished I went back to the girl and turned her round.

  'Excuse me, kid,' I said. 'It was better than busting.'

  She didn't say anything. She just looked at me, so straight that I couldn't make her out. She was neatly dressed, not flashy. She didn't look like a tart.

  'Go on keeping quiet,' I told her, but there didn't seem to be any need.

  I went over to the window and looked out. The place was clearing off now. The crowd were right up the road, still talking and arguing. I drew the curtains carefully, found the light switch and put on the light.

  The girl was pretty. Her eyes were bright, and somewhere around her mouth there was a curious tilt that made her look all the time as if she was just going to smile. I wished to hell she was a man. You can sock a man to teach him to keep quiet, but with a girl that would just be asking for noise.

  'This isn't a push around,' I told her. 'Don't be scared.'

  'Don't flatter yourself,' she answered. 'Who frightened you?'

  'Nobody frightens me,' I started, but I stopped because I guessed she must be kidding.

  'Who are you running away from, then?'

  'Don't ask me questions/ I said. 'Just you keep nice and quiet and you'll be all right. The wisest thing for you to do right now is to keep nice and quiet.'

  'What if I don't?'

  Somehow or other I just wouldn't have liked to have smashed that kid's face for her. I tried to keep the thing friendly by answering her question.

  'I was just running away from a fellow,' I said vaguely. 'Just running away from a fellow because I don't want to see him.'

  'It seemed to me as if that fellow was a dozen fellows,' she said.

  I grinned at her.

  'You're right, kid. There was at least a dozen, and I didn't want to see any of them.'

  'Very interesting!' she said, getting a cigarette from her handbag, lighting it, and blowing the smoke out very deliberately.

  'And now I suppose you will have to be tearing yourself away?' she asked.

  I shook my head emphatically.

  'You've got it wrong there, kid,' I said. T guess those mugs will take a long time clearing off.'

  Anyone is only too anxious to forget a bit of trouble usually, but that used-up bouncer was going to take a bit of getting off their minds. I guessed they would have people snooping around the district all night.

  'You've got it wrong there, kid,' I said again. 'I wasn't thinking of pushing off just yet.'

  She raised her eyebrows, acting.

  'Indeed? And how long were you considering extending your stay?'

  'Don't poke me,' I said. Tm staying here the night, and you had better get used to the idea.'

  'Charming!' she exclaimed, and moved suddenly towards the door with her hand up for the handle. She was a quick mover, light on her feet, but I caught her just in time. I grabbed her arm, flung her round on to the bed, and put my hand on her throat to stop her from squawking.

  'Listen, kid,' I said, and looked her straight in the face. 'Listen carefully. If I've got to choose between getting out of this room now and doing something that will make you keep quiet, I don't go out of the room, see?'

  For the first time she looked a bit scared. I took my hand off her throat; the flesh was red. I must have pinched it more than I meant, but it had certainly done a lot to get her tame. For a flimsy bit of a girl she had good guts. But now she was lying on the bed looking up at me as if she couldn't quite make up her mind.

  'You're going to be all right,' I told her. 'You just put off the light and carry on as if you had never seen or heard of me. I'll squat down on the floor in this corner by the door, and wait till the morning.'

  Her eyes were fixed on me as I spoke, as if she was trying to size me up. She lay there without moving, just where I had thrown her. The white of her neck was still flushed where my hand had been. For what seemed like minutes she lay there, looking at me steadily. Then at last she appeared to have made up her mind. Still without speaking, she rolled her body half over on the bed, and turned her head away from me.

  I switched off the light, and sat down on the floor in the corner, leaning my back against the wall. The house was

  quiet, and it was quiet now outside. The hue and cry had died right down, but the odds were they would still be snooping about somewhere. I would have to do some thinking when the morning came. There wasn't much doubt about that bouncer. He'd got the look all right. That was just his bad luck, but it might turn out to be mine. I had got to watch out that it didn't turn out to be mine.

  But I was tired, and that could wait till morning. This place was good for the night. It had been a lucky dip. She wouldn't squawk, not tonight. She would have done it by now if she meant to do it tonight. The room was for one, so there shouldn't be anyone else butting in before morning. Not then, very likely, because there were cups and plates and tins on the shelf, as if she looked after her own breakfast. This place was a snip, and the thinking could wait till the morning.

  I shifted myself and got as comfortable as I could in the corner. After about an hour, the heavy breathing from the bed told me that she had dropped off to sleep. I settled down to keep myself awake, but the beer and the running had made me tired, and after a bit I started dozing.

  I woke up at the sound of milk bottles being put outside the front door. Daylight was coming in through a gap in the curtains, and I reckoned it must be getting on for seven.

  It sounded as if the kid were still asleep. I got up, feeling stiff and cramped, and went on tiptoe across to the window and looked out through the curtains. It was raining. From the window end of the room I could see her face, and she was still asleep right enough. She hadn't undressed. It looked as if she hadn't moved.

  I looked around the room for something to gag her

  with. If she woke up and suddenly saw me, she might let out a yell before she had time to collect her wits. But then I looked at her neck, where even now it was still a bit red from where I had squashed it, and I decided to risk it. So far she hadn't shown up to be the squawking kind.

  I prodded her. She opened her eyes and looked at me without moving, just as if she had been expecting to see me there all the time.

  'I want to talk to you,' I said.

  She raised herself up and sat on the bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She looked down at her clothes, then looked over into the corner by the door, and then looked back at me.

  'Still here?'

  'I want to talk to you,' I said.

  'Go ahead,' she said. 'You seem to please yourself.'

  'Do you live here alone?' I asked her.

  'I thought I did,' she answered. She was awake all

  right.

  'Anybody come to get the breakfast or do the room out ?' I asked her.

  She shook her head.

  'I am afraid I can't offer you service,' she said.

  'Stop poking me,' I told her. 'I'm serious. I'm not in here because I like the place, or because I think I can stand you for long. I'm here because I've got to hide up for a bit, see ? And you're going to help me!'

  'You seem to know,' she said.

  'What do you do all day ?' I asked her.

  'Mind your own business!' she snapped.

  'What do you do?' I asked her, slower this time. She changed her mind.

  'I work at Benny's,' she said.

  * Who's Benny?'

  'Benny's is a shop. I thought everyone knew that.'

  'I'm different,' I said. 'I've only been in this town a couple of days. When do you have to go to work ?'

  'I leave in about an hour,' she said, and looked at me as if it were a challenge. br />
  I lit a cigarette and gave her one. We sat there smoking, facing each other, like a couple of fighting cats having a breather. It was an awkward situation, and I couldn't quite figure out how to handle it. I wasn't in any hurry to show out in the street, in case they were still snooping round. And yet if I bottled her up in this room, there might be people nosing around to know what was up with her.

  To ease the situation I jerked my thumb towards the shelves.

  'What about some coffee?' I asked her.

  Still smoking her cigarette, she went over to the mirror by the washbasin, and pushed her hair about a bit and looked at her face. Then she turned towards me again, gave me another long sizing-up look, and seemed to make up her mind. She got the kettle off the gas ring, filled it with water at the basin and put it back on. She got down a couple of cups and saucers from the shelf and started to put some coffee in the pot.

  'Milk's by the front door,' she said.

  I smiled.

  'We'll drink it black,' I told her.

  She looked at me hard for a minute, and then said quietly:

  'I'll fetch it and come back.'

  I looked at her straight. We had got to come to it soon. I looked right into her eyes, but they didn't move.

  'All right/ I said.

  She went across the room and opened the door and went out into the hall. I tightened myself and listened. As she opened the front door I heard footsteps coming along the street. They were slow, steady footsteps, just about level with the house. I was right on my toes by now, and I felt my hands tightening.

  The milk bottle clinked against the step, and the front door shut again. I could hear the footsteps passing on along the street. When she had come back into the room and shut the door behind her, she gave me a funny kind of look. I jerked my head questioningly in the direction of the street. She nodded.

  I tried to puzzle her out as she made the coffee. But reasons didn't seem to fit in anywhere. She filled the two cups, handed one to me without saying a word, and then sat down in the armchair and stirred the sugar in hers. I sat down on the edge of the bed facing her, and tried to get the whole thing clearer in my mind.

  'Look, 5 I said, after we had sat there in silence for a while. 'Look—we'd better get this clear. I've got to hide in here until those mugs have stopped looking for me, see? Now, you're a good kid, but all the same, what was to stop me bashing you up last night? Nothing! But I didn't do it, and do you know why ? I didn't do it because—'